May 2009
13 posts
April 2009
45 posts
wtf
fmylife:
Today, I was at the gynocologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, “Oh, it’s so squishy up here.” The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
four hundred plus twenty
nosnooze: the anti-amphetamine
I noticed ALoOT of older women is joccin ya boy now ;) they say I’m sexy as hell now.. I thought I been had swag???
damn it feels good to be a gangster
Now that the twitter competition is over, lets stop playing games and get back to work! Get LOCKED IN people! LET GO!!!Send me some ENERGY!
the hunchback of evan’s hall
If I beat ashton and cnn to 1,000,000 I will go live while having tantric sex! For 24 hrs straight! Help me! Yes we can! Follow @yourbrainon
92%
LL IS NOT LOOKIN' TOO GOOD →
i got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
GUNNA BE BETTA BY FRIDAY. LET’S GO PEOPLE, ++++ENERGY! YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!!! LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HAVE I MET MY MATCH? →
fmylife:
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
sicker than yesterday but not sicker than two days ago
omnilegent
wordjournal:
adjective • /OM nil uh jint/ • reading everything
fmylife:
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I’ve met, told me we should stop ‘hooking up’ because it’s weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
sick forever, maybe?
INFLUENZA
b/c we are yer friends, or something
fmylife:
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then proceeded to tell me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwhich. Funny dad. FML
DOOMED
gay? bitch kill yo self. I’ll show yo ass gay